Lake Tekapo and Goodbyes

Written 2/14/14

As I write this, I have been out of NZ for more than 24 hrs. While waiting for my flight out of Auckland, I called my parents, one last time before turning of my phone for the next part of my gap year.

We talked about my flight itinerary, landing in Chiang Mai, what was going on at home. And then my mom asked me the question whose answer I'm sure she dearly wanted to know: "How do you feel about leaving New Zealand?"

I paused, turning over the question in my mind. "To be honest, I'm so focused  on the travel and these flights that I haven't been super focused on leaving. Well, I do think I've had closure"

And I explained that in Wanaka, when asked where I was going next, I'd started to reply with, "To Christchurch to fly out to Auckland and from Auckland leave NZ." I'd make a sad face, as if to say, isn't is sad that my time here is almost done. And some people would nod, saying, "oh, so you're at the end of your trip." While they'd have only just started or be solidly in the middle. One young women who I talked to over breakfast said, when I commented about how short 6 weeks seemed to the people in NZ for months and months, she said, "At least 6 weeks is better than no weeks."

I haven't heard anything truer.

But these conversations were very good for me, because they acted to start the process of closure, they got me ready to say goodbye.

On the 11th of February, I caught a bus from Wanaka to Christchurch. That's a grueling 7 hour bus ride through flat lands used mostly for farming. The best part is stoping for 30 minutes at Lake Tekapo. I've already written about this late, but is deserves more words. It deserves poetry--love sonnets, and long never ending free verse masterpieces. It deserves its picture painted with words and color and song.

Eating my lunch at that lake, as close to the crystal water as I could get without swimming into the middle, I tried to take it all in. The vastness, the hugeness, the beauty of this country and its people. There wasn't enough time though. We only had 30 minutes for lunch and I wanted to find the toilet before getting on the bus again. But I felt like standing up and collecting my stuff and walking away would be like declaring the end of my New Zealand trip. Reluctant to go, I lingered. Eventually I picked up a stone. Bringing it to my lips, I kissed it and then tossed it far into the lake. Whispering my thanks to this place.

The next day in Christchurch was filled with final plans and preparations. Printing important information, shipping home things I would need in Asia, and buying things I would. I did get to wander in the city for a bit, peeking  very briefely into this place too recently shattered, still being put back together. And during this time, I was quietly saying goodbue to NZ and turning my eyes to my next destination.
While I ca't explain it in full detail yet--and maybe I won't ever be able to--but I owe NZ a lot. A lot.

When my mom asked how do I feel about leaving NZ, I know she was still worried that I wouldn't want to leave. That I'd want to stay there forever. And I have to admit, it's tempting. It's strange how a country that people see as so small can actually be so big. I know I barely brushed the surface. But I felt that way with Spain an everywhere else I've been. I guess that only means that I'll have to come back.

So, goodbye for now New Zealand. Thanks for giving me all you have.