spain

There I go again. Whispering that word like it holds some sort of strange power. Some strength that changes the people who've walked in it, who've seen it and tasted it. Some mysterious secret that only those who've been there have heard whispered and now carry in their hearts.

Spain.

Where the towns literally cling to the hills, tucked into the crevices of the earth, their stones walls and upside down roof tiles the same shapes that have graces these lands for generations. Where the national past times are walking and talking. Neither of which they do with any direction. They walk where they will and talk about everything and nothing. Where side by side with a history of art and creation is a history of war and hate. Where the speech is musical, laid back, loose and swinging, with bursts of staccato energy. Where people say what they intend to say. Where they talk with their arms and their expressions. Where if you listen closely, you can almost hear their kindness gracing their words. Where they will open their house to you, their business to you, their heart to you, trusting that you will do the same for them. Where people matter to each other, even those whose lives they brush casually across.

Spain.

And I can practically feel the pretension oozing from me when I talk about it. Having lived there, having tried to live there, having spent time there, having tried to learn what was normal there, I can see why people whisper that name. I know that there might be something in the air there (or more likely in the food) that people fall in love with. And I know that when I whisper that word, it implies everything and nothing and there is nearly no way for me to explain.

But to be honest, I sometimes wonder if I missed it. Although I can let my words drip with the best poetry I can write about the country, I don't dream of returning forever, of finding a nice Spanish boy to fall in love with. I suppose I don't have to fall in love with a country and a language to appreciate my time there or to appreciate learning it. But I do feel that Spain deserves another chance, as my last month there showed me a lot to the country that I somehow missed before.